Can I provide a surrogate mother for my own surrogacy process?

In an independent surrogacy process, one can provide a surrogate mother for own surrogacy process.

Usually, in such cases, intended parents prefer to work with their known surrogate mother.

Friends or family member of intended parents agrees to work as surrogate mother for them.

Using of known surrogate gives an option to intended parents to avoid mediation services offered by a surrogacy agency. 

However, many intended parents consult with surrogacy agencies even after using a known surrogate for avoiding any legal or ethical complication.

But in many cases, intended parents who are using a known surrogate mother directly contact a surrogacy lawyer and fertility clinic to perform surrogacy independently.

In the surrogacy process, the preferred age range of surrogate mothers lies between 21 to 35 years.

However, some exceptions may be made for a known gestational carrier.

Following are some essential steps one needs to keep in mind while working with a known surrogate mother: 

LEGAL BASES

No matter, intended parent may heterosexual couple, or a single parent, or LGBT who are using a known or stranger as a surrogate but legal interference is essential in the case of family building through the surrogacy process.

It is not uncommon that intended parents had faced legal challenges by using a known surrogate.

The interference of a legal expert can help intended parents to identify the possible contingency that may occur throughout the born child’s life.

Legal interference at the initial phase of a surrogacy journey can help to protect the parental right of the intended parents.

Also, it helps to identify the legal status of both surrogate and intended parents.

A legal professional can also map out the financial agreements between intended parents and surrogates.

This will help to avoid any type of clash in the future between intended parents and surrogates.

The known surrogate must have her legal representative for fair conduct.   

The legal agreement signature between both intended parents and surrogates (irrespective of known or stranger) is essential to establish clarity about their expectations and hopes.

MEDICAL BASES

One of the reasons for using known surrogates is trustworthiness.

But certain medical aspects need to clarify before starting the surrogacy journey with a known surrogate.

In general, experts prefer a woman as a surrogate who has her child to identify the success of past pregnancy and birthing history.

However, medical screening before initiating the medical process is an essential step in surrogacy because body physiology changes with aging.

But previous pregnancy and birthing history helps to identify previous complications like recurrent miscarriage, postpartum depression, the health of the delivered child, etc.

During medical counseling identification of surrogate mindset like willingness to maintain health during gestation like intake of medicines, adherence to the follow-up visits, agreeing to breast milk expression or not (if yes, how long), family support, avoidance of risky behaviors like the elimination of alcohol, smoking, and drugs, etc.  

Intended parents and surrogates both should be present during the treatment plan and anticipated delivery type.

All these discussions are necessary in the case of a known surrogate also to avoid any conflict during the treatment process.

EMOTIONAL BASES

Consideration of emotional basis should not be avoided in the case of a known surrogate.

Certain questions must be clear at the very beginning while using a known surrogate.

For example, being a parent do you allow surrogates in your child’s life in any way? How you will introduce your known surrogate to your child in the future? Emotional therapist counseling can help to get the solution to such questions.